Who want to
Who would want to tlak to me
Im not specil
I have nothnig good to say
I dont udnenst
I odnt tihnk you quie get it dani
yeha i know im jsut a little kid to oyu
So iinisint
adn i knwo i dont knwo pain
I get it
to oyu im just another perosn
so all of you jsut another humen
jsut another dead ear
Jsut another perons hwo dont get it
Just another perons who is worthless
USeles
yes thats me

What if told youthough
What if i let youknow
I get it
I get what oit is like to sit in crowed of pople of frineds enve
adn feal totly alone
to not wnat o to tkae the next breth
To want to jsut curl up in a ball and never ever wake agen
What if itold oyu kno what it was like to feal so diconected adn not ene be able to knw how to get back
What if i to l you know what it is like
THat i could undersnt ever word yuos aid
and how it felt

no i cna t
you woudnt boelve me
you would sutthink im trying to play you amke you feal better
i cnat say it to you cosue i knwo you wont boelve ites true
i get it i ikno
i udnenrst

To oyu all i am is that litle kid
To oyu all i am is someon who will never get it
Who jsut ownt udnernst
i get i tok
i get it
IM JUST OSM STUPIF LITTLE KID IWTH THE STUUPID PERFECT LIFE
i jsut wish oyou know

That is me

An uptrusction
An opstical
thats all i am

A freak
A now it all
thats all i am

I jerk
an un careinfg frined
thats who i am

Un loving
un lovable
that who i am

A freak
A monster
that what i am

A burdon
A wiaght
That waht i am

A hater
a fight
that is y charicter

A bitrarer
A killer
THat is my charictor

I am the one that you though loved you
But ended up killing you
That is me

I am the one you confide in
But thne find whos words are filled empty
That is me

I am the one you boleve in
But the one who thne crushed you;re dreams
THat is me

I am the killer who you sought refuger in
But thne you saw the evil side of my mask
THat is me

I am the one who has through you in the grace
iI am the one who barried oyu
THat is me

I am the one who words are meaninless
I am the one whos words are always worng
THat is me

I ma the onw the leach
the one that feeds of of you
That is me

The one who filles you;re heart with hatred
THe one who filles you mind iwth dipresion
that is me

Just kill me
through me off a brig
shoot me in the head
slite my thorought
Ride the world of the reched beast i all me
menless owrth less
Yes my frined that is me
But who am i to clal oyu my frined
I am the beast
So kill me let me a die slowly
Let me dye painfuly
Let me die
L:et the world be ride of me
It is better with out me

Intimidatng
Im intimidating
Im intimdating?
Wat what?
Me?
why me?
When did i become intimidating?
Im not over ley smart
or overly strong
I cant et straight A
I cnat life 1,000 pounds
Me intimidaitng how?
You're looks
the ones i readwith that i intimidate thie
ME littlold me
Well yes i read you're looks
I'm not always write
Well yes i try
Well no not always
I me?
How cna this be?
I'm that scarey
I intimadet
How?
why?
wHy me?
I never ment to
I never tryed to lear to read yo're looks.
I never evne tred to do this
I never took a clas or sat for houres waching others
I jsut i jsut picked it up
IT's intimidating
It scares you
I scare yo me?
I am no one
I ma not a perons who is even important
I a not overly smar
Or overly strong
SO how did i become so intimidating?

Sorry KAte

I realy should be working on a spresint for my best frined wright now (sorry kate) But i was thinking and i came up with someinthg well i oshudnt tkae the credit im sure the big Man up in heaven wanted me to have the ides so realy more acuritly it's THe Big Man in the sky put an idea into my head so im writieng it so i dont forget

For thos of you who have read the Bible this is in all for of the frist books of the Bible and is udner JEsus Feeds the 5,000. For thos of you who ahvent ever read this befro her is a linkhttp ://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John%206:1-15;&version=31; ( fell like in the gospal of john it is writen in grater detal bt ahy thats jsut me) So any way JEsus it talking ot this group of 5,000 well actul not realy that was only the men so lets say ther is a woman for ever man thats 10,000 adn then lets say for ever man and woman ther is one child so that is 15,000. Ok so that isn't like a Biblvcle exact number or anytihng but lets just be safer and say 10,000 count men wemon and Children cool with ever one? SO any way JEsus is talking to this group. So the dsipils are rlealing it;'s getting late and they are geting hungrey and so JEsus says to Philip and is like ware are we going to get food for all thes peopl. Adn philip being praticle is like i have no idea it would take a mouths pay to feed them all he sound like apritty retional dude. Mean while this little kid is standing by and he hears the older mean tlaking and so he goes to Andrew another of JEsus Dispciel and i jsut pictuer this a kid half andrews size saying i have some food take all of it and share it with thes people. So andrws i tihnk boleveing more in Jesus thne Philip says hay we have 5 loves of bread and 2 fish. So you know how it end Jesus brakres and blesing nit and it multibley snad ther is left over and unuf for the kid to bring home 12 baskcits of the bread

Some of you are lke oh cool so what are you getting at ehr is what im getting at. This little kid brought everithing he had to JEsus adn said her have it. Jesus to it he uses it he multibled it he made it better adn the blesed th elittle kid with it by givieng him more food back. What im gettitng at is isnt it the same way with us. God wants us to give our self fully to Him. He wasnts us to give Him our hole life all our gifta all our talints everithng we have give it to Him and God wants to use it. You can speek grate let me mkae youy a ikwed speker and thne im going ot blessing you with speking what i want you to. YOu're a leader grate im goingot amke you a rocking ausm leader and thne im goign to gie you the abilty to help others. God wants to take our life and he wasnt to use it and then say hay im going to bless you. One thing you have to realy get though is some of us arnt goingot be blessed write now some of us wont resev that blessing this ber mint. When we get to heavon one day and God says good jub my good and fathful servewnt that will be our only blessing but that blessign will be better thne any. And others will reseve a blessing that that God will say now lets do the same thing you give to me i use it and ill bless you agen.

The other thing is this only workd if we give it all to God. What if the little kid was like no my food you cnat have it all what aobut me. God wanted that kid to give up everithng he had and let the offering be na over flow of His heart. In the smae way itinhk He wants us to do the same thing. HE wants us to give our hole self to Him and let it be an over flow of our heart. IS the fun nope is it easy? Mope. Is it the funest thing you'll ever do? Nope. But it is best. IT is the best thing for you. I know it;s heard to give God all the control couse it;s heard to trsut HIm someties especil when life is heard, but it is the best thing for us.

I guess what im getting at is ware are you write now. Are you like the little Kid saying take it all. Are yo like PHilip and like um we dont have the mony and you jsut kind dont get it or are you in the midle and cant seem togive it all to God. Whare are you?

NIm good at nthnig but one thing
I seced at nothign alway exept one thing
My intest are never to acheve
But someon howi alwas stumble across acheving
My hope is never to do but some now ialwy do it
I never want to
but i do

N matte rhow hard itry to fight
THe sicses alway ungolds me
Always pules me into misery
It always has to win
It always has to be wright
IT alway siced

No matter what i do
I alwy and alway will
Hurt
No matter how hard itry
I alwas do and always will
hurt

And tongiht i will bat my slef
I willl batle mysife form the inside
And try to deffet me
But no matter how hard i try '
I will always hurt you

here i though i was going to writea calum a post i guess aoubt maturing adn getting od,er adn how i was learignt semth ign wehni was slapped inthe face with the fact that im not mature i cna try all i want and i cna fake all i want but if you dont undersnt sysety you are not matture

Socil life that my problum sutl hits that are droped i dont undernst i dont udners waht some one wants to her soem thing and when not. When soe oen says so tell me aobt wahts goingon i shurg my sholder adn say i dont knwo not coues i am a cockey teen but forth e simple resniofi dont knwowaht to say. I need prompting i nedd to now wheat they want to knw or igo fo down roads that mean nothing. I dont know wahtot say to that. People think its so easy but weh nsoemone askes a qutsin and i dontnow what to say i almost freez. mabbey that why i like lising so much all it takes of me is the fact of um hum yes yeah nda if some one wnats a resonpns otso meinthg i jsut say waht itihnk but me oh idontknwo how to ltkaaoubt me i spendt so much time not tlkaigaoubt me that i frezze when i have to. When you strat promting me what aobutyoure fmaily ow d oyu flelaobut you';re stiers you mom you're dad im ok. But a wusiont like so waht going on i jsut dont knwo waht to say.

Maturity is not jsut aobut you're etops it isnt jsutamobut underint you but nerstnad syseyty it;saobut now about systey now how to deveolp ni sysyter and find you're place i nsysyity and for me that is ware ilake systey is now ware igrow systerd is was ifall falt on my face knose pbleadng eyse wadering. IT's never abot wh o i tlkat it's alll aoubt i dont kwno wat to say seom water btwen begi coned adn beign boorn i loost the cruceh cell that is answr open ended qusiotn with a gooda snwer and for hat resonand that roesn alon i lfop on my face nd fall to the ground

THe Words thay sting
It's like Acid on my Bar fless
Like fire running acrose my skin
It amkes me want tocry
IT amkes me want to screem
It mkae me wnat o run till ther is nothing left

THe Words TTHey sting
It's like hands on a chak bork
Like tanting that iwll never end
It makes me sick
It makes me hurt
It makes me cring

The Words thay sting
It's ilke hial on the back of ou're neck
Like a sit thats distrod
IT amkes me ach
IT makes me brake
IT amakes me so unsher

They may sems like jsut words
IT amy seem like nothing at all
But know i let you down
But know I've hurt you
IT kills me