here i though i was going to writea calum a post i guess aoubt maturing adn getting od,er adn how i was learignt semth ign wehni was slapped inthe face with the fact that im not mature i cna try all i want and i cna fake all i want but if you dont undersnt sysety you are not matture

Socil life that my problum sutl hits that are droped i dont undernst i dont udners waht some one wants to her soem thing and when not. When soe oen says so tell me aobt wahts goingon i shurg my sholder adn say i dont knwo not coues i am a cockey teen but forth e simple resniofi dont knwowaht to say. I need prompting i nedd to now wheat they want to knw or igo fo down roads that mean nothing. I dont know wahtot say to that. People think its so easy but weh nsoemone askes a qutsin and i dontnow what to say i almost freez. mabbey that why i like lising so much all it takes of me is the fact of um hum yes yeah nda if some one wnats a resonpns otso meinthg i jsut say waht itihnk but me oh idontknwo how to ltkaaoubt me i spendt so much time not tlkaigaoubt me that i frezze when i have to. When you strat promting me what aobutyoure fmaily ow d oyu flelaobut you';re stiers you mom you're dad im ok. But a wusiont like so waht going on i jsut dont knwo waht to say.

Maturity is not jsut aobut you're etops it isnt jsutamobut underint you but nerstnad syseyty it;saobut now about systey now how to deveolp ni sysyter and find you're place i nsysyity and for me that is ware ilake systey is now ware igrow systerd is was ifall falt on my face knose pbleadng eyse wadering. IT's never abot wh o i tlkat it's alll aoubt i dont kwno wat to say seom water btwen begi coned adn beign boorn i loost the cruceh cell that is answr open ended qusiotn with a gooda snwer and for hat resonand that roesn alon i lfop on my face nd fall to the ground

THe Words thay sting
It's like Acid on my Bar fless
Like fire running acrose my skin
It amkes me want tocry
IT amkes me want to screem
It mkae me wnat o run till ther is nothing left

THe Words TTHey sting
It's like hands on a chak bork
Like tanting that iwll never end
It makes me sick
It makes me hurt
It makes me cring

The Words thay sting
It's ilke hial on the back of ou're neck
Like a sit thats distrod
IT amkes me ach
IT makes me brake
IT amakes me so unsher

They may sems like jsut words
IT amy seem like nothing at all
But know i let you down
But know I've hurt you
IT kills me

Life

We all live it we all know it this is waht we live day in and day out life. I have made a voew to my self when i am old i want to look back on my life and be able to be proud of it, i dont wantto look back and regret alot of it. I think the only way i cna do that is by liveing for God. I dont want my life to be worthles i dont know how mcuh itme i have i dont ever know and i dont wantto regret it at all. I have people all around me that set a good example.

my life
it;s all i got
i iwl live it for you
or i iwll live it for God
I'm not going to give it for somethin litte
I'm goignot give it all to God
I;m not goignto let you tell me
I'm not goingot let oyu ahvce my life
I'm givieng it to God
I'm oggn to live it His way
sO give me brake
I wont always be perfect
I wont alwas do everthing write
I'm triyng im trin realy ahrd
Jsut kech me a brake
Let me chile
Don tel me im perfect
Dont try to see me that way
I'm everthing but that
Give me a brake
And give me chance
stop judging em
stop huting em
and stop cutitn me donw
THis is mt life
and im livin it for Him

Be ware of Crazy thoughts

I was thinkingin the shower (yes the shower) and this is waht i came up with.
I was tihnkinkg aoubt relationships and how we cut them of how we have thme hurt us how everthing seems to go wrongad i think we cna bring it down to one itnhg tommarow. Here is my thought we worey. We use our head to much in a sitwaiton we sohuld us our hart.

Ill start with the second one first. In relationships we use our head iitnhk tomuch and our hart to little. Yes in some sitwaiotn this isnt true, buti have sne to oftne people betting the logic out of a relationship becosue they want to difin it, they want words insted of the felling. Yes we should not let our hart tkae over completly but it is like this. Have you ever noticed that when we go and do someithng creazy someithng dnagers our haeart ski[s abeat and in that one moment our heart tells us dont do this becosuey u cna loos this perons or this thingg. Our mind thogu our bain says no it;s ok you wont. So we shut out our heart and say our brain is wright becouse it is smart it is inteligent it has to be wright. Our hearth thos is wright it is telling use dont loose the thing you love dont do it, but we shut it up and lisne to our head. If we only lisen to our heart thne we wil become desensites we will soon never love beocuse outr mind tells us we wil get hurt soon we will no longer care who we hurt becoes we dont lisn to our heart wich tells us hay you wil hurt this person. THis will kill a realtionship what ever it wil be for me it;s friendships. If we wore to much of what wil happen if we care thne we wil never care adn we will always hurt ever one coue they need us to care

The other thing i say wil ruin a friends ship or i guess any relationsihp is woring aobut tommarow. I think JEsus Him self sums it up perfectly "Do not wore about tommarow for today ahs unuf wores in its self." I think we to oftne worea obout tommaorw wil the carea bout me will they love me tommarow. I think we go wil they what ever tommarow. If we wore aobut tommaore what iwll happen with the relationship tommarow thne we wil have aproblum with it today. I ithnk in mkaing a dision about a relationship we cna only look at the past and today. THe past will not always tell what the futer hold but if in the past you cnaithnk of more good thne bad then the relationsihp is worth time, we ahe to rember tohug physical or verbal abuse will always out way any good in a relation ship. When we wory of the futer we put stress and strain on a reltionsihp when we worry that tomaorw they iwll lever us or tommarow they wil not love us we should tihnk aobt hwo they lover us today how they care for us today. We wory if we tell thme someihng today it will be hedline news tommarow. WE worry that if we let thme know us today tomarow they will ahte us. We fear so much that we hurt what once was a relationsihp . When we expect that the raliotnship wi lbe better whe nwe wkae up tomaorw couse we slept on it we set our self up ofr hurt do not lok to tommarow but look at today dont go to bed with the problum unsolved figure it out otnight and be done with it.

So igues whatim saiyg is lisen to you;re heart and love today dont wore aobt tommaore . Be you;re self and dont wore if they iwll ahte you tommarow dont tihnk aobt tomaore , it's will only hurt Love ith you;re hart and lisen to it whenit says you might loose someone ocues fellings are what make use live.

50th blog and it;'s for you Slikedy

Iwanto gie you it all back
I wanto give you al lthat incourgment bkac
I wnat to see that smill i lvoe
I want to herar you;re laugh cosu i love it
I want you to be happie
Even if it emans me giveing up everinthg
I wnat you to no t hurt any rmoe
Even if i hadt o give everitnhg for it
I awnat you to knw hjow much Daddy loves you
I want Him to jump outf the corrner and rab you in His arms
I wnat you to fell Him cosue I knwo it;s what you ened most
I want to see you happie
Couse i knwo it;s waht you neeed
Couse i knwo it would mean the world to youy
Couse i knwo you need it
I woudl give anything for you to ahve that
IWish you knwo how mcu oyu are cared for
I wish you knew ow much you are lvoed
I wilsh you knew how mean lives you;ve touched
How mean pole you've helped
I wish oyu know that all
And i wish oyu knew how mcuh i lvoe you
Cosue it;s more thne words will say
More thne icna discribe
And thos words means start to fade
Even if my love dosnt
I love you, I jsutw ish you knew how mcuh

so im posintg this randome blog with tihs one line so icna dedict my 50th blogot osmeone so eyas

Life

Life just isn’t fear
Even what we try
So Lord please hear my desperate prayer

We can go ahead and dare
But in the end those cares just go bye
Life just isn’t fear

Sometimes it’s just to hear to bare
And we fell like we could die
So Lord please hear my desperate prayer

We send up another prayer
And then lie awake and cry
Life just isn’t fear

It hurts so much so we pretend we’re unaware
So we just try harder it’s the only way we can reply
So Lord please hear my desperate prayer

Sometimes it’s so much pain it can never compare
But we go on just so we can defy
Life just isn’t fair
So Lord please hear my desperate prayer