Friday, July 24, 2009

i found my self wish
Tongiht wishing
No not that the nail polishw as gone
And no not that i woudt ahve to whare the dress tommarow
I was wish to be with you
TO hold you
To make you feal safe
So that you could know someone one cares
So you knew that some one loved you
So you would jsut feall somne next tot you \
So oyu would know you're not alone
SO mabby you could feal a little help
So you could cry
So you didnt ahve to hold back
So you woudnt have to be strong
So you could be you
And not be ashamed
So mabbey jsuy mabby you could be ok
But hay
Im jsut dreaming
Hay im jsut wishing
Hay im sut me

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

the anger boiles in my hands
The heat rases to my face
IT turns strawbarey read
I can feall the anger sepping in
But then like a sleghammer i drop the waight
I smuther the anger
I smuther the pain
I give it not another chance t o breath
I stuf it in a weat sogey emptey box
And stack ot in the dark dingery
Oh so ful basment of a hind part of me
Agenst a walll
With so meany boxes
All Lappeld
In slopey wright
Date offense
Anger leavel
THere they stay slowly bieng smother
Mokre and more ever day
Till one day
THe boxes have had unuf
A bomb goes of
The top is blown
And the anger erupts
The rom comes yto a crumbingling pille
And caos sinks in
THe strawbary read retunrns to my face
My fits clench
I feall the explose
ADn i explode
Im oof im gone
Ever offense that i;ve commited
ever tiem i;ve been yelled at
Ever angrey word said agenst me
TIs all out
THen the dust setels
THe air clears
THe boxs the rom in runes
I reabuld the romo
Brick by brick
To keep out of sight of any onewho might see
I hid it away
Hopeful to never see another day
Hopeful for eo one to ever see

Saturday, July 18, 2009


ever looked at the world?
ever jsut stoped and taken a view?
Ever looked bast the mask of people?
Ever stopedboelving ther im ok lies?
Ever sene morein there eyes?
Ever walked past siome one and seen the pain?
Ever felt ther hurt?
Ever spent a late night careing for a friend?
Ever knwo what its liekto fell hepless doignthe only tihng you cna do ?
Ever feal like you have ntohing mroe to offer?
Ever wish you could give anything everthing?
but cnat fined anything mroe?
Ever Find ur slef wishing to trade placeswith af rined to take ther pain?
Ever wonder if you;re doignt he write thing?
Ever wish you had more answers?
Ever find you;re self so wrapped up with a friend you cna almost fella ther pain?
Ever find ou;re self looking into osmeone eyees knwonig that ther answer si un true?
Ever wanted to show soemone thetruth?
Ever wish you knew how?
Ever find you;re self doing soemtihng you never expected?
Ever find you;re self holding soemone jst so you knwo there safe?
Ever wished you could hold on to soemone to protect thme fomrt he world?
Ever held soemone jsut so they knew someone was there?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Did you know today
I sat on the deck
Sander in my hand
With my mind racing
Did you know today
I wanted to call of hanging with my friend
Did you know today
I almost burts out in tears
Did you know to day
THat suicid hit my mind once agen
Did you know today
THat i felt like a falure
Did you know today
That i really jsut want to be alone
Did you know today
I would love tocurl up in my bed
And enver coem out
Did you know today
i didnt want to get on the ocmputer
Csoeu i didint want nay one caring
Did you know today
I felt un loved
Did you know today
THat my stomic turn and mad me feal sick
Did you know today
THat i fell hopless
Did you know today
THat i know i;ve pulled away
Dd=i you know today
THat i dont feal confert
did ou know today
THat ever seens maine i;ve puleled away
ddi you know today
I let down ever one
Did you know today
I relised it didnt hurt
When you said you were leaveing
did you knwo today
I realsided ever one leves
Did you knwo today
I cant think of any one whos staid
Did ou know todat
I wish i could disaper
No i gues you did not
How would you
I didnt tell you
I guess
How could you

Thursday, July 9, 2009

you wnat to knw waht i want to say to you her it is miss thinkgs she cna get mt eo to say waht she wants so she donst get made and me and we cna have this perfect litlte friendship

I nwa tto say the only reson you are askign me is so that ill say idont want her to stay ether so that to oyu it cna be jsutified so oyu hcna feal like it sall wright by saying oh yeah thats waht dani tihnks to./ Well gues waht im not you;re little pupet
i woant let you play me in you;re hand i no longer bend to youre will i iwll not tdo waht you wnat ot avod i fight you want to fight me go ahead jsut know that if isay waht im ithnknig you will not be ablet o respond. Ogh and by the way donyt you dare ever ever ever agen say that you know whats going oion in my head and ylellign me wha tim saying isnt true cosue guess hwat kido you dont you have no diea what s going o in my head guess what tou dont ha ha ha you know waht you are sitll easy to read and me well i;ve shut down turnted out the light when yuoi;re angere y you;ite angree whan you;re sad you;re sad not to hard. But you know what i wont give you the satifaciton of mee yelling at you you wna totknw waht ha ha ha? beouce thne you will jsut ahve an toher things to wright on you;re blog aoubt this or that and how i am sucha bad frin dnad abnading you what ever you knw waht what estinkni eve ri dont give an sitnkni carea ny more you want to fit bm e bring it on one punch nad i got you down nice try younging nice rtry mabby tomaor or ambby come bka cin a year

Monday, July 6, 2009

Fake hero

She put on the cape once more. It choked ehr still But the fapric called her name ever morning as she rose with the sun. THe tight suiet that cover her body with the larg S in the fornt naow seems to almsot suffictat her. dry clean it next tiem she tohugh to her seldf. she went aobut ehr day She was ther hero. Some one fell Her rupper gloved hand that once protected ehr but now had ripes and tarts so that ehr hands were scraped with the messes ther her refuges ahve experinced. If somone needed to take a wa;k ther was thr hero once angen but the shooes that once protected ehr feat formt he beatend and painful trailes her refuges travedlw ere now beatne and taterd so that the sharp rokes and stons drew the blood of not only here victum but also ther hero. If some on was fdrownding it was ehr thatat saved thme. But the life jakect that once held her up as she brought in the refug now was taterd and worn and no longer kept ehr aflot. Her lungs would fill with watter and she woudl gasp her air as the watter took its vitum and allso a piece of the hero. If ther crows of the air were atking the hart of ehr regues ther hero steped in but the sheild that once protected ehr form the sharp ruthless beaks now awas rsed and had dents ion it so its consitns was that of sitn foil nad as she resuced ehr refuge also her heart ther birds rook with the knife like beeks and ther spike like clows. As the end f the day rolled aroudnth er hero foudn her suit barly fititng nay more as her body speleed fomr ther ruff hnads pionted rockes drownding watter and knife like bird beeks. The suot riped a litlte more each day and she could enver find ad a way to repber it fr ever nigh ther bed she lay exust with thoguhts filling ehr mind adn tongiht othugh the edge of a cliff she stood. the suet almsot falling of ehr dbody yot realve ther scared brused and broken body under neth. Tonghig she would jump as her blood foot sliped off the edge and as she was ready for the trokcs to take ther not so heroic hero. THe hand that had touched so meany plintes spikes piont andbene cut and priked now toched soemithng more soft as it cought one hadn thne the other. THe hand that were soft rapped thme self aroudn her heroos. Befor the heor new what was happeng she was standing on the top of the rock once agne .THe supper suit that she once help so dear as she saw it ehr place now was gone fomr ehr body not a shred lefyt leaving ehr exposed and naked to the holder of the soft hands. THe not so much her stood ashemds of the scared beaten brused aching pulsing bodey that had been so abused. Ashemd se turn trying to cover ever scare fo the body that semes more deformed fomr the missuse then acurit "THease would suit you;re purpos better" As the real hero hadned jeans and a t-shert to the once not so much hero. The eposed scares filled his eyes. He saw the abuse the not so much her had gone through as she gave everthing she ahd for othere never elatitng ehr self have a pieace. IT was time for ehr to find ehr place and as the cloths slip on she foudn ehr place in his arms rapepd in wormth As si strong arms engulfed ehr He ened no super sout to identife Him as ahero. THe red and blody hand he rappedn the half brokend and more scared thne actule skin feat he clenad and bandged THe lungs that were almsot sinking in her chest fmor the watter he escreted the water form. Adn the hear th at ahd bene turn in so meant direction it resembiled a mudbuble of red isnted of aheart he sawed. That mnngiht He laid her in her bed whare she hofoudn her real plae not the one of the fake Hero......

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Are scared to ask
I saw the lsit
Are you scared to ask me alll thos quesiont
What ill bit you;re head of
Scared the blood will rush out of you;re boddy
Scared im a savig
Scared ill rip you to pieces if you do
I wont
JSut ask
If i dont wwant to answer
I wont
But you enver ask
I never get the chance
So why dony ou sut ask
WEll take ift fomr there
Why do you tihnk me so savige
so crazy why?
Did i do someithng
Did i turn agenst you
Am i bear
wHo only wishes to protect ehr cube
A couger on the prall
I didnt tihnk i was
btu mabby you tihnk i am
MAbby im wonrg
AMbby i trun avig and wild
MAbby i turna genst you
But a quesoint
Are oyu so scared to ask
THat you wont
THat you tihn kill killl you if you do
Well odnt owrry
I wont push
YOu cna aks if you want
But ahy give me a chnace

Saturday, July 4, 2009

ever wish

do oyu ever jsut feal alone?
ever jsut feal like you dont belong?
ever jsut wish you wernt soem whare?
ever want to disaper?
Ever want to jsut go away?
Ever want to jsut die?
Ever want to jsut cry?
ever wish oyu wernt you?
Ever wish you could knwo waht was true?
Ever wish you would be msised?
Ever wish you wish you wernt so pissed
Ever wish you wernt sad
Ever wish you wenrt mad?
Ever wish to jsut feal?
Ever wish to never feal so oyu cna deal?
Ever wish you could jump?
Ever wish you were just a lump
Ever wish to just be hpapy
Ever wish life wanst so sappey
Ever wish to belopng
Ever wish you wernt so wrong?
Ever wish tyou wernt you
Ever wish you wernt so blue?
Ever wish that people would care
Ever wish life was fair?
Ever wish you jsut culd stop wishing
Ever wish you could stop msising
Ever wish that the wishes were true
Ever wish life could become new
Evef wish that wishes were true?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

ever sitnk tihn nyou tellse me make sm tihng that
i get it im not thr firned you ever want ed ok
i get it
ok i do
stop tlaling me that not how it is
i know i know ok
i do
Just leave m e alone
Let me
beill brobley wake with bloody fits tomor
im tired of this
im tired of huritng
irealy realy am
tired of it
im sut tire dof iths all
please soem one save me
please please
THe more i joke aoubt soemtihg
The more i hurt
The more saratik i am
THe more i want to block out life
The funner i mam to other people
tHe more i hurt inside
THe more my life is falgina part
THe mroe i hate everithn aroudn me
THe mroe i joke the more im sinigk in
THe more im faling
THe more im hurting
the more life is coemign aprt at the seems
Dont you getit
CAnt tou see
Its how i dael
How i cope
How iconmpinsate
When life is faling aprt
Atles i cna make you laugh
At lest i cna make yu funy
I stop talking
I dont knw why
SI top felaing
THank you :Lord
I stop evernth
And it hurts oh it hurts
but i dont fgive a care
Cut me
brake me
Make me nothnig more hne dirt
THat wlll make me hpapy